A lipogram is where a letter or letters are left out of a piece. In this modern take of Jack and the Beanstalk, the letter 'e' was omitted.
Mama said "Jack, no food to cram,
Cupboard’s vacant, no oats or jam.
Daisy cow has milk abounding,
but milk's for tots, so I’m sounding
a wish for us to not want alms,
by taking Daisy, with no qualms,
For transaction, to a farm.
A good amount should fill our sack,
I’ll pack your bag, now hurry back."
So Jack and Daisy took a trail,
to Wilson’s farm, without travail.
But in transit ran into a man,
who had a big brown bag in hand
"tis magic pods within this bag,
I’ll swap for cow, now don’t you lag,
For growing opportunity is nigh,
plant pods now, gains mighty high."
Jack sold Daisy, and with bag in hand,
ran back to mama, thinking grand.
Mama in a fit of hurt,
flung pods out into dirt.
Jack was hit with rod of broom,
and told to go up to his room.
Morning sun brought Jack no shadow,
a giant stalk had grown to block his window.
Jack thought profoundly of how and why?
as climbing up on stalk to pry.
A cloud surrounding stalk on high,
a land upon, with mansion nigh.
Within mansion a giant lay,
with brooding fowl not far away.
But fowl was not a kind to pluck;
'twas in fact a diamond duck.
Upon command duck did hatch,
a diamond with a mighty 'quack'.
Giant lay back to catch a nap,
Jack took watch by door through gap.
Jack snuck in, caught duck and ran.
Giant shouts out "gadzooks! a human?"
Duck in fright: "quack, quack, quack."
Giant in angst: "Bring it back!"
"Foh, fim, fum fud,
is that an odour of British blood?
I'll run and catch him, bring him back,
grind him up to garnish snack."
To stalk and down, Jack with duck did scurry,
"Mama, Mama, you must hurry!
Bring a bowsaw, bring it quick,
I now know that stalk is thick."
Putting duck in mama’s shawl,
Jack cut through stalk and it did fall.
Stalk is down! Giant is slain,
Duck is ours, no forward pain.
Mama and Jack, with diamond duck, according to a book,
now had a happy, highly long-lasting outlook.