Feb 022021

This day started with waking up late, having to take a 9am session, so OMG, leap out of bed, get into gear at high speed, grab the undies and outers, get into them, get down ASAP to where the students are agog to be enthralled(?) by a burst of thermodynamic gas equilibrium. Puff, puff, pant, pant, just made it, phew.

Now it had come to pass that a pair of my dear wife’s knickers (dark blue, no frills) had got into hubby’s drawer, unnoticed. And thus it was that the session concluded, with the 10 minutes break when you attend to the call of Mother Nature (which may not be denied), so round to the comfort station. Another OMG, where is it, sure there was one when I left home this morning, dive into cubicle, locate the problem … problem manfully (personfully?) solved. Back to next lecture, puff, pant.

Now lunchtime, to ingest the sandwich hastily grabbed while exiting home sweet home this morning. This sandwich included a slice of beetroot, very healthy, except that it chose to slide out and down the front of a white shirt (mine, quelle clumsy nong). And so, round high speed to the washroom again, shirt off, rinse front bits, problem diluted but no, not solved. Back for the next session, strange looks from the students at the abnormally scruffy beetroot-stained damp academic. Ah well, apologies and partial explanation, on with the show. Home, with account of day’s activities, can’t say received with all that much tea and sympathy (why can’t you check the basics before getting into them, and similar forceful sentiments). Ah, well.

And so us blokes are daily faced with perils additional to Covid-19. Moral of the story: always check the frillies (even if no frills) before entrusting your day to them. And remember this, life is no abyss, there is always a way out of a problem, even inappropriate knickers.

With best regards, John of the Great Nether Region Impeded Beetroot Stained Day.