Mar 052024
 

Our various art groups have two new displays, one at Eltham Leisure Centre and the other in our Office at Eltham Central Pavilion.

The art at the pavilion include examples of landscape, still life, abstract paintings and embroidery. It will remain there for a term. The photo right is of one of the paintings on display. It is by Leanne Ipsen, is called A round of summer and is available for purchase at $490.

The leisure centre is an ongoing display space for our artists’ work, of which a variety is on display. Thanks to the centre’s management and Nillumbik Council for their support.

Mar 052024
 

Sam’s athletically trim body was trembling all over with the crazed excitement of anticipation. He was desperately and passionately in love for, just above his shelter, which was the wheelbarrow in the garden shed, was his paramour, hanging on a beautiful big web. She was gorgeously huge, fat and sleek, and black, very black. Everything about her excited him. He spun his message out by text, because he no longer had the ability to lie. He could not deny his obsessed love for her, so he climbed up on to the edge of her silken web and plucked his message out in spider text. “I love you; I will be yours, yours only, from today and forevermore!”

Sam’s delicate arms strummed the geometric threads of her web musically, just like the troubadours of old when they serenaded a lady’s beauty with their guitars; and in poetry most prosaic, he declared his eternal love for her and his desire to sire a dynasty of the most superior descendants. With her, of course, his paramour, no other would do, no other was as obviously fertile as she was, or as ready.

A little while later, the sultry black seductress tinkered the strings of her web. The enticing message vibrated all the way through Sam, thrilling him; he was beside himself.

“What is your name my glossy black Gorgeous?” he strummed back to her on the wires. A little while later the reply came, “My name is Delilah, you handsome one!”

That was all Sam needed. He was ready! Slowly and carefully, he made his way up the sticky interlocking threads of her ladyship’s web to the arms of his beloved One and Only’, the one of his dreams.

He approached, made some advances, retreated, then teased her a bit with his thin and delicate arms, “Yes,” he gauged her reaction, “Yes, she really wanted him!”

Sam embraced her, she was a whopping big girl, huge in fact, but he had what it took, and after a few seconds of tussle, he had fathered a dynasty of spiders. He was euphoric. Now he would forever leave his mark on the world of arachnids!

Then Delilah grabbed him in a tight hug, and she whispered to him, “You are the soul of my children, their food, their sustenance, they will be nourished by your mind and your body”.

Then she bent down and nipped him gently. He tasted nice; she wouldn’t get indigestion from this, her latest lover!

Feb 292024
 

Around 40(!) of us took advantage of the half price tickets to go to the Thursday evening performance of Yes, Prime Minister at Eltham Little Theatre.

It was actually pretty good, especially for those who got the coveted ‘dress circle tables’, where you could bring your own food and drink.

Feb 242024
 

Whenever there is a local festival or similar, you nearly always find that some of the stalls are being staffed by members of our U3A. So it was at the recent Community Food Aid Festival at Edendale.

The photo on the left is the Diamond Valley Community Support (DVCS) stall staffed by U3A member Mike Kelly together wuith DVCS President Sonia Gilderdale. DVCS are the official emergency relief organisation for Nillumbik, including for food relief.

The photo on the right is the Eltham LinC stall staffed by U3A member Ann Hutchinson together with her colleague (and fellow Gibber Gabber reader) Diana Warrell. LinC distribute food parcels and hampers to those who need them plus maintain a pantry at St. Margaret’s from which people can take food and toiletries.

  

Feb 052024
 

Many years ago, I joined my siblings and nephew for a holiday at a small island in Belize called Ambergris Caye. My younger sister owned and operated a B&B there. The island had just started to be discovered by tourists. There were no paved roads and most people either walked or got around in golf carts.

One day, looking for adventure, my 8-year-old nephew suggested that we go for a drive in the golf cart right to the tip of the island. I didn’t think the road went to that point but he insisted it did, as his Dad had gone there the day before.

We headed off on our adventure and eventually arrived at a point which seemed to be the end of the road but clearly was not the tip of the island. An area of dirt to our right looked drivable. My nephew insisted that we needed to take that ‘road’. This is where I should have remembered that my brother-in-law was prone to exaggerating his achievements.

Soft bumpy dirt soon turned to mud and the next thing we knew, we were bogged! Full sun with a temperature in the high 30s, no hats or sunnies. There we were, standing in heavy mud trying to work out how we were going to get this cart out. This was before mobile phones, of course.

After several innovative attempts to get the cart free, we resigned ourselves to walking through the deep mud, back to find help. A golf cart rental guy came and picked it us up and we enjoyed watching his golf cart double as a tow truck. Then back to the B&B where we endured a lecture from my sister on how stupid we were and how this might affect her relationship with the cart rental company. What a day it had been!

The lesson of this story may not be what you’d expect. In the end, what I learned was this: Sometimes when you are hot and bothered, stop and think. Is it really that bad or will this, one day, bring laughter? Will it be a memory you cherish, of a challenge shared and overcome?

Jan 292024
 

On 29th January, our Gentle Walking Group combined their usual walk with some local history. Jim Connor, of the Eltham District Historical Society, has highlighted some of Eltham’s historical points of interest on earlier walks so this time they continued on from where their last walk finished by taking a quick look at the buildings around lower Dalton Street. The little cobbler’s shop that sits on Main Road has intrigued many over the years but few of the group even realised that there are two residences tucked in behind with links to the local Skipper family. Indeed the current resident of White Cloud cottage popped out to say hello (or maybe to make sure that the group wasn’t casing the joint). He (Adam) also had a few wry insights into his family history which added to the morning’s charm.

Dec 182023
 

On Tuesday, 5th December, we concluded the year with our now traditional Christmas break up at Eltham Central Pavilion.

The evening started with nibbles and drinks at 5.30pm. With the weather being kind, we were able mingle on the veranda before sitting down to dinner.

The main meal was provided by Spitting Image, who provided a variety of good quality food and plenty of it. Thanks to the staff, who were both professional and helpful.

Our raffle in aid of Diamond Valley Community Support netted around $600. Thank you to everyone who bought tickets.

Our U3A choir, led by Lindsay Byrne, provided the entertainment after the main meal and many of us joined in by singing some well-known Xmas carols.

Rob Glanvill acted as MC and kept the evening moving and on schedule.

Dianne Parslow thanked all our volunteers and tutors for all their hard work during the year.

We finished the night with an array of desserts and tea or coffee.

Thanks to the Eltham Cricket club for manning the bar.

The raffle prizes were donated by both U3A members and local businesses. The U3A members included Dawn Mack, Jan Simmonds, Joan Denison, Linda Grigg and Terry Ball. The businesses included: Bottlemart, Lower Plenty; Common Cents, Montmorency; Dan Murphys, Eltham; Echo Balloons, Montmorency; Foodworks, Montmorency; Gourmet Butchers, Montmorency; Imajpak, Campbellfield; Kim Kim Bakehouse, LowerPlenty; Lower Plenty Hotel; Pamper Mi Beauty Montmorency; Pattysmiths, Eltham; Scaffidi Hair Salon, Lower Plenty; and Shane McVeigh.

Finally, this event could not have been a success without the help and efforts of many volunteers. Thanks to Alison Pieper, Carmen Breust, Carol Seymour, Gary Seymour, Hector Hart, James Redrup, Jane Hammett, Laraine Hussey, Judy Vizzari, Julie Smith, Karen Redrup, Karenne Lack, Maree Papworth, Marianne Peterson, Rob Glanvill, Robert Lamb, Ruth Goddard, Sandra Walls, Sue Bailey, Sue Brenkovich. Apologises to anyone whose name we have missed.

[Editor: and a huge thank you to Carole Meade, who organised everything and made it happen.]

Dec 182023
 

The Jazz Appreciation class concluded 2023 with a guest speaker, Mark Morand. Mark is a composer/arranger/producer and guitarist for a project 32 bars in which he is endeavouring to compose music and lyrics for 32 songs, of 32 musical bars duration, to be performed, recorded and videoed in 32 different (drinking) bars around Melbourne. Mark has completed 15 so far, with 2 more to be released by February next year. The last four made the AMRAP Top 10 played on Community Radio during this year. Tune 13 was performed and videoed at the Eltham Bowling Club as part of the ‘azz by the Green monthly gigs.

As well as explaining the onerous requirements of the project, Mark gave the group a recital on his newly acquired (from Japan) blue Gibson electric guitar. Mark engages three female vocalists and around 30 young local musicians in his entourage. He was a guest of the class at dinner that followed his presentation, which was thoroughly appreciated and enjoyed by all present.

Dec 182023
 

As you hopefully know, Eltham Little Theatre offers Nillumbik U3A members half price tickets for all of their Thursday evening and Sunday afternoon shows. It is an offer that many of us take advantage of. If you haven’t, then you should at least once during 2024. We are so confident that you will enjoy yourself that, if you don’t, then we will offer to refund your ticket!

Eltham Little Theatre’s last production for 2023 was a madcap affair based on the Cluedo board game. As you can see from the top photo, it was BYO food and drink and well attended. As you can see from the bottom photo, there were 7 candidates for the murderer.

Dec 182023
 

Our Pot Painting group finished the year with some Christmas-themed pots to put poinsettias in.

Dec 182023
 

Our Bike Riding group rode to Wattle Glen Cafe for their end of year lunch. After lots of laughs and discussions, John Arneaud was thanked for his hard work in choosing and organising the various rides throughout the year, as was his right hand man, John Earle. The ride home was a bit harder as they had all had a full lunch and they envied the people who drove instead!

Dec 182023
 

Our Choir

Our Choir meets on Saturday afternoons at Old Eltham Courthouse under the leadership of Lyndsey Byrnes.

Dec 172023
 

Posts by various of our classes

The posts below include the following classes:

  1. Cycling Group (by Raeanne McLean).
  2. Diamond Valley Big Band (by Rosemarie Jaeger).
  3. Greek (by Jan Taylor).
  4. Hurstbridge Creative Writing Group (by Pam Kemeys and June Rushton).
  5. Luncheon Club (by Abe Kelabora).
  6. Mahjong (by Maree Papworth).
  7. Music Tutti (by Maree Krohn and Bob Stubbings).
  8. Play Cards Afternoon (by Mike Rich).
  9. Poetry Through the Ages (by Noel Butterfield).
  10. Pot Painting (by Lisa Attrill).
  11. Power Tools (by Lisa Attrill).
  12. Second Tuesday Book Club (by Sue Lloyd).
  13. Shakespeare Rocks (by Noel Butterfield).
  14. Tai Chi.
  15. Weirdness of Light (by Guy Palmer).
  16. Yoga.
Dec 162023
 

The Writing Workshop

This class began in Term 1, 2023 when it became evident that the two other writing classes were full. Friends, Jan Taylor and Lynne Geary, decided to put themselves forward as co-coordinators of another such group; this encouraged them to write regularly and created another opportunity for Nillumbik U3A members with an interest in writing. Given neither considered themselves to be creative writing teachers, they structured the sessions in the form of hosted collaborative workshops. The idea was to attract members who were already writing and who wanted support for their writing process.

The group went from strength to strength throughout 2023, with a steady membership of eight and a ninth member joining the group later. Memoir was a strongly favoured genre, but fiction, plays, poetry and creative non-fiction focusing on travel and other issues were also contributed. As a celebration of the camaraderie and collaborative spirit of the group, not to mention the wonderful writing output, the group decided to contribute one of each of their best pieces to post here on the Nillumbik U3A website.

In alphabetical order, the following pieces have been submitted:

Dec 112023
 

I have climbed the Eiffel Tower
To absorb the views of Paris.
Perched high amongst the canopy
Of a warm temperate Borneo rainforest.

I have trekked over rocky ground
Beside thundering waterfalls of Yosemite National Park.
Traversed the sacred landscape
Of Uluru-Kata Tjuta in the heart of the Red Centre.

I have encountered the movement and behaviour of
South Africa’s iconic safari species.
Witnessed pristine wilderness of misty fjords,
Towering snow peaks and blue carving glaciers.

I have watched the sunrise
From a hot air balloon over Cappadocia.
Helicoptered over the striking landscape
Of the Mitchell Falls etched into layered sandstone.

I have camped under a glittering starscape
At Kalumburu in the Kimberley.
Been privileged to see Aboriginal rock art
Dating back tens of thousands of years.

I have been spellbound
By the grandeur and power of Michelangelo’s David.
Pondered for hours
The fresco ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

I have visited Monet’s house and garden
Vibrant and colourful as his paintings.
Wandered through Beatrix Potter’s Hill Top Farm
Inspiration for her children’s books.

I have been mesmerised
By the Whirling Dervishes in Istanbul.
Captivated with the rhythmic percussive footwork
Of the Spanish Flamenco dancers.

I have observed the tragedy of war.
Shrapnel-strafed buildings in Sarajevo.
Stolen, wasted lives of one and a half million at Auschwitz-Birkenau.
Row upon row of white crosses
At one of the D-Day beaches.
Wept at Anzac Cove and Lone Pine Memorial
For the endurance, courage and sacrifice of men and women
In a failed campaign.
Lest We Forget.

Dec 112023
 

I had reached retirement. Perhaps it was finally time to do a life plan.

If I’d ever had a life plan before, it had been earlier (much earlier)—to clone my mother; to marry at twenty-six (after gaining qualifications in the health sector), to have four children and live a happy life in the country town where I was born. That seemed a good plan. Instead, I got married at twenty-two, divorced at twenty-seven and untidily left the country town—fortunately with no kids in tow. At least I had managed to get that qualification in the health sector.

But retirement brings a time of reckoning; a time when you need to take stock, to pose big questions like “Is my life on track?”, “Are my loved ones proud of me?”, “Am I proud of myself?”, “Am I achieving desired goals?” … Shit! “Do I have any goals?”

When I ventured on this path of self-appraisal somewhat late in life, some might have said the horse had bolted. But a sixty-something-year-old woman still has the possibility of twenty years stretching ahead of her. And so, I ploughed on. And where better to start the search for how to make a life plan than on the internet?

I googled ‘How to…‘.

Being impatient I scanned through the search prompts…

tie a tie, make pancakes, train your dragon, write a resume, have sex.

Trying to stay lexically lean, I added a further two search terms,

‘… do a …’

but this led to an equal lack of clarity; now I had to sift through…

how to do ahandstand, messy bun, fishtail braid, waterfall braid, tie

There was that damned tie again—is knowledge of tie tying so lacking and yet so important in this day and age? Don’t children have parents who can teach them? But maybe they don’t have to wear ties at school anymore?

Finally, I overcame my allegiance to quick and dirty solutions, and fully typed …

How to do a life plan‘,

but only after vetoing further prompts …

How to do a life… cycle analysis, event on Facebook, audit, or review.

Surely the plan should come before the audit or review and certainly before the life event on Facebook (whatever that is). Fortunately, ‘How to do a life safety plan‘ was less popular than just ‘a life plan’ without the safety, a life presumably prepared to embrace risk, or I might have just cried!

Finally, I thought I had found my Rubicon, but I still had to choose between an eleven-step life plan (with pictures) or the more tantalising seven step life plan (still with pictures). No wonder I had never done one before; it was hard enough just to know how to do one, let alone to actually do one. No wonder I’d spent my life shamefully free-wheeling—no life plan with periodic review, let alone audit. Occasionally lists appeared in my diaries that could be taken for some form of order. But being partial to writing, my efforts towards anything that resembled a ‘plan’ or a ‘review’ would then stray wildly from the succinct dot points to become more like a walk in the dark, full of imagined ghouls and goblins or tragi-romantic comedies and soap operas of the worst kind.

But retirement was an event of significant enough proportions that I did attempt a life plan. This plan now begs for my attention less than a dusty window sill. (I’m not big on dusting). Sure, I need a goal to get me out of bed in the morning, but then, I’m sure that eventually something would drive me to have that shower no matter what. And then the walk in fresh air—fitness being a valuable side-effect. A life plan goal or simply a drive, rational thinking? And then the phone call to a friend I haven’t spoken to for a while—social connection with others and sanity being a valuable side-effect. And then my class teaching Greek at University of the Third Age—a sense of purpose. Are these life-defining activities the result of a well thought-through plan?

Follow your obsessions, I once read when writing seemed to be one. And there must still be a drive within me to write for here I am, writing. Should I have a life plan to become a famous writer, to at least publish somewhere? It seems that’s not how my life works. Now that I have this understanding, I will probably never google “How to write a life plan” ever again.

What a relief.

Dec 112023
 

Helena was a woman in her 50s of Greek-Australian background. She came into the oncology ward where I was a fairly new social worker because of severe symptoms in her GI tract – nausea, vomiting- plus constant fatigue. The doctors on the ward established within a week or so that Helena had an advanced bowel cancer that was blocking her stomach and gut. It was beyond treatable already. To relieve her nausea she had a nasogastric tube to drain her stomach contents upwards into a bag. She was a very ill woman, but she was still able to walk, and speak to staff and her family.

Helena’s husband Stavros and son Chris were a constant presence on the ward, and made it clear from the outset that we were not to use the ‘C word’. Stavros’ reasoning was firstly that he didn’t believe she had cancer, and secondly that if we were to speak of it to her she would “give up and die.” It was, and still is, a strong conviction in many migrant communities that truth-telling about cancer is cruel – a kind of curse which condemns the person to die, and die sooner.

Stavros had his own theory about what was wrong with Helena: she had an infection. His knowledge of body functions was limited, and he did not accept that what the doctors were telling him was true. His son was less adamant, but backed his father up, seeming to see the issue as a kind of power struggle.

My role in all of this was to try to support Helena, work with the family, and facilitate family meetings. Stavros and Helena both spoke reasonably good English, so an interpreter was not needed, usually another part of my role. I met with Helena initially, but Stavros hovered, monitoring all interactions with his wife. I asked Helena her view of why she was in hospital. For Stavros, this was skating too close to the ‘truth’, whatever that was, and he ushered me out of the room. I was not to speak with Helena again. The next day he looked guilty and presented me with a bottle of wine, but he had not changed his view.

Meanwhile Helena was denied the kind of pain and symptom relief the nurses and doctors could see she needed. Her family would wake her up on their arrival on the ward and get her to walk around the corridors with her bag full of dire-looking fluid. Things came to a head when the ward staff- nurses, doctors, allied health (social worker, physiotherapist) felt that Helena was suffering and that they could not do their job effectively. It can be hard in this kind of situation to say who the patient ‘belongs to’ – the staff or the family. It was difficult to speak with Helena openly, and we needed to know her wishes and get her consent for comfort care. This was another flashpoint: pain relief, i.e. morphine, would make Helena less alert, less able to communicate with her family. “But she’s not in pain,” the family protested, “We asked her.”

The conflict escalated; this had been going on for close to two months. I and other staff grew increasingly frustrated. The decision was finally made in a staff meeting that we needed to push through the family’s gatekeeping and meet with Helena on her own. One of the senior doctors and I met with Helena in her room. We asked her what was more important to her: “Do you want to be comfortable, free of pain, or do you want to be able to talk with your family?” She said “I don’t want to suffer.” The doctor asked if she had questions, things she wanted to know. She looked uneasy, and said “No.” This clear statement from Helena allowed the ward staff to take a palliative approach, relieving her pain and distress rather than trying to treat the cancer.

Stavros and Chris never did accept that Helena had an incurable cancer, but they could eventually see that she was dying. After nearly three months of wrangling over truth-telling, who was in charge of Helena’s welfare, and much soul-searching among staff, Helena died peacefully.

In the aftermath of her death I found myself wondering “Are they right, these families? Will their loved one give up and die if they know the truth?” I researched the issue, and wrote a conference paper on ‘Offering Truth’, which was the state of the art at the time. The ill person guides us, telling us how much they want to know. This remains a fraught issue in oncology, but the trend is toward the truth.

Based on a true story. Names have been changed.

Dec 112023
 

Human beings are community animals. Initially, their families are their close community. Their community connection grows by adding friends and expanding social activities. This personal expansion aims to build relationships for them to find their place in the world and the local community.

For the special few, out of their wants, needs, and imaginations, they create their ideal community and develop a town and places to provide living opportunities to share with others. Some are born, live, and die, adding to the history of an existing community and leaving a legacy for the future to build on. Others are fated to search for years before finding a suitable place where they belong.

Hurstbridge is such a place, with a forty thousand-year-long history of habitation by the local First Nations population. Colonial settlers then came seeking their fortunes. Waves of people seeking relief from the city rat race reaching out from Melbourne continue to come. There are many good reasons to become part of this whole community. My awareness has taken decades and years to develop, the story of which, with your indulgence, I would now like to share.

This particular day’s morning walk was down my street, along Chione’s Way, then onto Ferguson’s Paddock. The sun was shining, birds were singing with the buds of new life bursting forth. Struck by the sounds of birds, I could feel the wind in my hair and face. The grass smell, the visual beauty of flowering buds on the pathside fruit trees, and the golden blanket of wattle near the footbridge conspired to trigger a review of my life.

Standing on the footbridge, I observed the gurgling of the Diamond Creek as it passed beneath the footbridge on its way to Diamond Creek township. The water wound past the fallen trunks and branches of eroded bushes from the last high water. Along the bitumen path, earthworms were wriggling to cross the barren waste to get to the grass on the other side. Any worms who lay limp were a testimony to the attempt. Dead limbs of fallen trees reached upwards as if to pay homage to the light. The sun coming up broke through the canopy of leaves to create changing shadows of dark and light across the path as the wind blew gently through the trees.

In Ferguson’s Paddock, a sense of calm and peace seeped into every part of my being. As I stopped to absorb the extensive view, I became more and more attuned to what was occurring around me. My mind stilled and was quiet in this place with nothing else to do. The impact of nature appealed to the deepest part of my being and reminded me that I was still part of the natural world. The calls and flight of birds confirmed that I shared this place with many other species. That thought brought gratitude to my heart and joy to my soul. Walking around gave me time to reflect on my belief systems in a way the usual frenzied workday did not permit.

Strangely, thoughts came flooding out of a nearby group of tall gum trees. As a science fiction nerd, I recognised this was a verbal line from the Star Trek TV series. The Borg’s short message to human beings: ‘Resistance is futile’ and then, ‘You will be assimilated.’

A further tide of thoughts and memories then cascaded in me. Recent colonial history abounds in this place, from the murder of Henry Hurst, Sir John Monash’s concrete bridge, to the memorial to Peter Brock, to the many carefully preserved buildings such as Allwood House. The pathway I had just walked was named to celebrate the short life of a child who lived next to me.

Why had I missed until now noticing the natural beauty of living here? The excuse that came to mind was that I was heavily engaged in mastering my job. I had little free time to appreciate this place. For my children and my wife, I’m sure it was different. My resistance took the form that home was just a place to lay my head at night after the day’s work activities.

Now retired and on this morning walk, I explored ways to absorb the natural beauty of this place that I hadn’t considered possible before. The natural beauty of life around me blossomed and had a hidden yet important message about life existing in this place. A series of cyclic renewal energy exists seasonally in all life, the cycle creating the basis of history for us all.

In the past, I had considered myself separate from whatever nature surrounded me. Today, in the special moment of feeling fully connected to life in this place, I realised that my resistance to fully embracing life was futile. Here in Hurstbridge in the Nillumbik Shire, I had now been assimilated into the community and this place.

As I later write this story, I find another gift from the experience. I am aware of my poor knowledge of the Wurundjeri-Willian clan that lived here centuries before I came into the area. However, my life connection to the timeless lifeline of this place is now clear. In my mind’s eye, aided by an awakened heart, I can envisage an ancient version of this place and its surroundings. More natural beauty existed under the care of the local indigenous people, who appreciated the natural world and lived in simple harmony with local life.

The current local area energy cannot match the beauty in that vision, only hang onto the natural beauty we have now. The community continues to resist the pressures of inappropriate development to preserve a place where seekers of a simple lifestyle can belong. I rejoice that I finally can appreciate the essence of the beauty left in this special place.

Dec 112023
 

There are patches of blue in the sky, alongside some grey, white clouds. It’s a coolish day and the yew leaves are tossing back and forth on their branches. The green lawns are lush from the Scottish rains.

‘I cannot see you,’ cries Angus. Then, he hides behind a tree and occasionally pokes his head around its trunk. He is about eight years old. He wears his corduroy trousers, a flannel shirt and a tartan jacket. He sneezes from the flowering heather blowing through the air.

Down below, he catches a glimpse of an old, stone building that looks like a castle with its gothic style windows and turrets up on its walls. It has a wide entrance door and latticed windows. Perhaps, a Lord or Lady lives here.

Angus cannot see his friend anywhere. He looks down upon the castle and wonders if his friend, Maisie has entered it.

‘Hello Maisie, where are you? Have you gone into the castle?’ he shouts. Some peacocks wail up on the grassy area and their long tail feathers trail behind them.

He looks to the left and then, to the right and then, hurries towards the castle. He can see that the heavy, wooden castle door is ajar so he pushes it further open and it creaks ominously.

Cobwebs hang down from the rafters, a musty smell lingers everywhere and dust covers all of the furniture. A large ironwork candelabra hangs down from the ceiling and it holds white, pillar candles. A wood fire is burning in the fireplace and sparks fly about.

The floor is like nothing that he has seen before. It’s made of slate of different shades of blue and grey and they feel cold under his feet and Angus shivers. Maisie is nowhere to be seen. His breath becomes quicker as he sees a knight in battered armour standing in the corner of the room. Is it real?

As he hears the creaks and groans of the ancient building, an old woman hobbles using a stick into the dining room. She taps her stick against the floor and cries out feebly, ‘Who are you? What are you doing here, young man? This is my home and you are trespassing!’

The old lady’s long dress is made of shimmering silk and lace and as she speaks, she pulls up her woollen, tartan shawl around her shoulders.

‘I’m Gus and I didn’t know anyone lived here. I’m searching for my friend, and we were playing Hide and Seek. I don’t know what trespassing means.’

‘It means …’

‘Boo!’ cries out Maisie from behind a carved door.

‘Now, what is going on? I’m waiting for my son to come home. He is out riding on the moors and he will be furious to see you two here in our home. Now, hurry on and don’t let me find you here again!’

Gus can hear the tree branches scratching against the windows and he begins to tremble. His heart beats quickly and he cries out to his friend, ‘Come on Maisie! Let’s go! We need to get out of here!’

They both run to the door, and Lady Thistlewaite slams it shut. Suddenly, it opens again and she peers out, agitated.

‘I’ve changed my mind! You can cook my dinner! I want lamb stew and vegetables. All of the ingredients are there on the bench. Cook has called in sick. The kitchen is that way!’ The old lady points her stick out to the back of the dining room.

Gus and Maisie trudge off to the kitchen and they see lots of pans and utensils hanging from a steel rod. They start chopping the vegetables and see a variety of meat bones lying on a plate.

‘You can peel the potatoes, Maisie and watch the knife. It’s very sharp!’

‘I absolutely will Gus.’

They cook up the carrots, potatoes, peas and broccoli in a large pot and then, add the bones. It simmers away on the cooktop. After a while, the smell of the stew makes Gus hungry.

‘I’m famished.’

So, he ladles out some of the stew onto a plate. He munches on the meal and the lamb shanks are tasty and tender.

‘Mmmh! Mmmh! ‘he says and he cries out to Maisie, ‘Have some! It’s really quite delicious!’

‘Won’t the old bat want some?’ asks Maisie.

‘Aye sure, there’ll be plenty to go around.’

The kitchen becomes fogged up from all of the steam.

Then, suddenly Gus hears a loud piercing scream coming from the other room. They rush in to see the old woman lying on the floor with blood pooling near her head. They look closer and see a knife protruding from her.

‘What the heck!’ screams Gus, ‘How did that happen? We’d better scram!’

Holding hands and trembling, they push the door open and rush outside.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, Gus spots a pale apparition with hollow eyes suspending in mid-air near the trees.

‘Crikey! I think it’s a ghost, this place is haunted. We’d better find a place to hide.’

‘Aye, I’m feeling petrified now and we might be the next ones to be killed …’

‘There’s a building over there. Let’s go in!’ cries Gus. He pulls open the door.

The ghost shrieks and floats across the misty moors.

It’s known as Tilley’s House and it’s surrounded by hedges, roses and Scots bluebells.

Gus’s palms become sweaty. The children don’t know what to do and Gus searches for somewhere to hide. Then, he spies the hall cupboard.

They crawl under coats and umbrellas and squeeze in between boots and shoes and Gus quickly slams the door.

They can hear loud thumping noises coming from outside the hallway. Gus cringes and gasps in fear and they both huddle closer together.

They hear loud bangs outside as the intruder wanders through the house shooting randomly. The bullets ricochet off the walls. The two children clutch each other’s hands and their faces become white with fear.

‘Where the hell are they? I can smell their blood!’

An umbrella falls from its hook in the cupboard and makes a loud crash.

The intruder takes aim at the kids, but as he does so, the ghost slithers past and knocks him over. He falls flat on his face onto the umbrella. He screams with pain and clutches his bleeding eyes. The children quickly make their escape and scream at the tops of their lungs.

They race through the front entrance and the grim gargoyles up above cry out in rasping voices ‘Watch where you go! Watch where you go!’

The children sprint up the hill with their jackets flapping in the breeze. They can hear the loud voice of someone chasing them.

*****

Several years later, Gus and Maisie go for a walk in the same district. They reach a graveyard at the bottom of the valley and there are some rocky outcrops.

Gus sees a scrawny, black cat slinking in between the gravestones. Then, they stumble upon a gravestone weathered from the heavy frosts but they can still see its engraving.

‘The old lady has passed on and has flown up to heaven,’ says Gus.

‘Oh, we can come back another day to do that. In the meantime, we need to

‘We need to find out who killed her and who was firing all those shots at us all those years ago.’

They wander around the graveyard for a while longer. A rambling rose covers an arbour and weeds grow thickly in between the headstones.

Suddenly, the skies blacken and rain thunders down. The children run for cover and rush into a building. Once there, they spot a doorway leading down. They descend down the steps following a labyrinth of a stairwell. It becomes darker and gloomier the further they go down.

‘I cannot see, Maisie!’

‘Neither can I!’

They reach a room that is extremely dark and cold.

‘I think it’s a dungeon!’ calls out Gus.

There lying on the ground is a skeleton and a hunting rifle lies besides it.

‘I think we found our killer, Maisie!’

Dec 112023
 

I look up into the clear blue sky and imagine what they would have seen.

It was 8.16am as their children walked to school when the B29 Enola Gay expelled the experimental atomic bomb, nicknamed Little Boy. As the beautiful city incinerated under a toxic mushroom cloud, the co-pilot Robert Lewis scrolled in his log My God, what have we done?

I feel numb standing here on the exact spot that changed the course of human history – Ground Zero Hiroshima.

Hiroshima is a city the size of Adelaide and I am feeling overwhelmed recalling the hundreds of thousands that were killed or maimed. Behind me shakily stands the spooky skeleton of one of the last remaining buildings, the Genbaku Dome.

Heads bowed, we shuffle towards the nearby Peace Park Museum to pay our respects. It houses all the suffering and sins from that awful 6 August 1945 morning. Here, the walls are doused with thousands of photos and firsthand accounts, which once seen can never be unseen. The ugly reality of a lifetime of deformity inflicted from radiation, burns, cancer, poisoning and trauma. The lucky ones died instantly. The stain of Hiroshima has seeped through the generations. I was warned this would be raw and tender. Nothing prepares for such emotional disfigurement.

It is awfully quiet in here; one can hear a tear drop on these shiny floorboards. That is until a lady near me starts reading out loud some of the inscriptions:-

‘It hurts! Water! Help me Mother! I don’t want to die!’
‘My son, where are you? I am sorry I can’t save you.’

‘The corpses flooded the rivers; I just look for my child.’

‘Each time I see a girl on the street I wonder “Is this Chiyoko?” I wish she would run out and throw herself into my arms saying “Mom”

Through misty eyes I read about the thousands of children who were orphaned and had to fend for themselves. Many were stolen and sold. It ensured a generation who hated grownups and Americans. Some say the atomic bomb was payback from Japans slaughter at Pearl Harbour. Or perhaps Americans were flexing their atomic muscles in front of Russia. America claim justification of the bomb to shorten WW2 and ultimately save lives. Japan claim they were going to surrender anyway. The defaced children had no claim.

The bomb did stop the war instantly. A city that is easily the saddest place I have been. I pray that every soul can rest in peace and that clear blue skies can one day return for the people of Hiroshima.

Dec 112023
 

‘I’ll bet you think I’m homeless.’ The man looks up from his phone as the speaker settles herself beside him. Unable to stop himself, he glances at the bag she drops by her feet. ‘And probably demented.’ She grins. ‘You have no idea how many people get up and move away when I sit down. Gives me a good laugh every time. Sometimes they offer me money. I never take it, of course, well, mostly not. I can’t help it if people assume. My age, and the bag I suppose. Old woman. Big bag. Uh oh. Homeless. Lost her marbles.’ She chuckles, reaches forward, takes a small paper bag out of the big one, settles it on her lap.

He looks back at his phone.

‘I’m not, you know. Homeless. I have my own place. But I like to get out, see a bit of the world, meet people, have a chat. You meet all sorts here in the park. And you can get a good cup of tea at the café.’

He says, ‘Mmmm,’ eyes on the screen, his thumbs beginning a frantic dance.

‘I like my place well enough, I suppose. Not what I expected though, at this time of life. I thought we’d have a place with a bit of garden, a view. Well, nothing like a dead husband to put paid to those dreams. After he died I discovered his super was not quite worth what he said. Stripped down, it was, like him. No flesh on his bones by the time he went. Cancer. And he was a big body of a man you know, solid. Looked like someone you could trust. To rip you off, as it turned out.’ She snorts. ‘Don’t you worry Marge,’ he used to say. ‘Everything’ll be hunky dory’.’ She shakes her head. ‘But, you know, the unit, it does have a view of sorts, if you lean over the balcony and look towards the city.’

The silence which follows is intense enough to prompt the man to look up. His companion on the park bench is gazing at him, head on one side, mouth pursed slightly. He blushes, looks at his phone.

‘Well,’ she says, ‘You seem to have a bit of flesh on you. Not fat. I don’t mean fat. Muscle. You probably work out. That’s what exercise is called these days isn’t it? Working out? In my day that meant doing arithmetic, or solving a problem, like how to make the housekeeping stretch beyond Wednesday, or how to get grass stains off the back of a skirt. Hmm. Yes. Working out. In a gym probably.’

She narrows her eyes and nods. ‘I’ll bet you have quite good muscle definition, a six-pack even.’ His stomach tightens. She chortles. ‘You’re probably wondering how come I know so much about it. Well, I watch American Ninja on TV, and I saw that movie with Channing Tatum. I like to watch those fit young bodies. Always did, truth be told.’ He risks a glance. She is looking into the distance, hands resting on the small bag in her lap. His stomach relaxes.

‘Of course.’ She turns back to face him. ‘In those days no one went to a gym. The men got their muscles in other ways. Hauling stuff, mostly, the men I knew, in and out of trucks, up and down stairs, on building sites or down at the docks. A bit of boxing maybe. Not like the men in suits, scrawny little buggers collecting the rent and selling insurance and working in offices. God knows what they did for muscle definition.’ She looks at him sideways. ‘We women paid attention, you know. We knew what to look for. Strong buttocks, strong shoulders. Means the same now as it did then I’ll bet.’ His thumbs are still. He stares at his phone.

‘Here,’ she says. He looks up. She is holding a muffin out to him. ‘It’s alright,’ she says, ‘I got it from the café on my way here. Still in its wrapper. I always get extras in case I need them. You never know who you’re going to meet. Maybe a homeless person.’ She laughs. ‘No way you’re homeless though, not with that suit and those shoes. Probably have one of those lovely big flats overlooking the river. Though I have wondered if there might not be a bit of a smell sometimes, you know, from the river, on hot days. They say it’s still polluted.’ She holds the muffin up again, raising her eyebrows. He says, ‘No thanks. I’ve just had lunch.’ He looks down at his shoes. She shrugs. ‘Alright. I expect you are watching your weight. We need to, don’t we, as we get older. Not that you are old. Around forty maybe?’ He makes no reply. ‘Of course, people look so much younger these days. Diets. Botox. Cosmetic surgery. I never tried any of that stuff, and I stopped watching my weight. No point in watching it was there? It did what it wanted whether I watched it or not. And Mick, well he liked a bit of something to get hold of. Kids take it out of you too, of course, specially us women. Bellies all wobbly, boobs ending up down around your navel, your bits every which way. Not something you’ll ever have to worry about of course. Not the boobs I mean. Maybe the belly if you don’t keep up the gym membership. Kids?’

He stares at her. ‘Do you have kids?’ she asks. ‘Oh I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to get personal. I was just thinking. He looks about the right age. Couple of kids maybe? School age? Girl and a boy most likely.’

He shakes his head. ‘No.’ he says. ‘No kids.’ She raises those eyebrows again. Proffers the muffin, which he takes, hardly realising.

‘Oh? Well, time enough I suppose,’ she says, ‘Kids keep you young, if they don’t drive you crazy or turn you grey before your time. Mine were pretty good really. Stayed out of gaol. Gave me a computer so we can skype. Showed me how. And a phone in case I get into trouble when I’m out. They’ve got good jobs now, though exactly what they do is a mystery to me. Time was when you could understand the jobs people did. Not anymore. I bet that if I asked what you do for a living it would be something I’ve never heard of, or something like hedge fund manager or digital marketing manager, or IT specialist, those jobs people talk about in TV shows. Your job title’s probably on your Facebook page. I haven’t got one. Can’t be bothered. All those pictures of what you’ve eaten and selfies if that’s what they’re called and where you’ve been and lists of all your friends and funny symbols. ‘
Before he can stop himself, he says, ‘Instagram.’ She peers at him. ‘What?’ ‘Pictures. Usually on Instagram.’

‘Oh,’ she says. ‘Instagram. Yes, of course. That’s the one where people kill themselves trying to take the best selfie. I’ve seen it on TV. You have to laugh don’t you? Dying trying. Well, maybe not such a bad way to go. Maybe I should get myself one of those selfie-sticks, you know, and go looking for some good views. Do you like your job?’

He surrenders. ‘I do. I’m a nurse. I work in A and E.’

Her eyes widen. ‘My goodness,’ she says, ‘A nurse. Never had men as nurses in my day. I still get a bit of a surprise when it’s a man who comes to take my blood or check my wee or something. Not that I mind. I certainly wouldn’t mind having you take my blood. Goodness. A nurse. I had an aunt who was a nursing sister, in the days when they wore those big stiff white veils. She was a tartar, but even she was in awe of the doctors. Except for one, the one she worked for in his surgery, after she left the hospital. Everyone thought she had it on with him, though no one ever said. Nurses and doctors. So many doctors are women these days. I wonder if they harass the nurses the way the male doctors did, or still do. I never had much trouble with harassment myself. And I looked pretty good in my day, let me tell you. But when I was about eighteen or so I gave a couple of blokes a swift knee to the balls and word got around. Another muffin?

He shakes his head, indicates the uneaten muffin in his hand, straightens his shoulders and stands up, sliding his phone into a back pocket.

‘Off then, are you? Time for your shift I suppose. Hope you don’t get too many emergencies.’

He nods and walks away, back straight, determined not to look over his shoulder.

Later that day, on his balcony overlooking the river, he says to his friend. ‘It was as if I was hypnotised. Once she got started I could no more get up and leave than I could fly. And I kept answering her questions.’

‘Put a spell on you, huh?’ His friend says.

‘Something like that. The muffin was nice though.’ He pauses. ‘Do you think the river smells weird?’ His friend sniffs the air, shakes her head, and holds out her glass for a refill.

Dec 112023
 

Charlotte was determined. She wanted to see the dingoes. The queue behind us, into the main gate at Healesville Sanctuary, was swelling, impatient. How could I take my precious grandchild into an enclosure with these predatory animals?

“There will be two rangers,” the ticket seller tried to reassure me.

Entry passes in hand, we sat on a boulder, outside of the dingo enclosure, Charlotte eating her sandwiches, whilst I took a distracted occasional bite. Perhaps I’d confused the time. Not another soul was awaiting the warrigal experience. Last year when Ian, Charlotte and I were near the entry, to the Close-Up Encounter with the koalas, people milled around – family groups, couples, Japanese tourists.

“Hello there, can I see your tickets?” asked a man in khaki shirt and trousers, his hair matted and skin surprisingly weather-roughened for someone so young. It was somewhat reassuring to see the badge, on the flap of his shirt pocket, emblazoned with the word ranger.

Where was the second ranger? A photographer appeared, saying she was trained with these animals she referred to as ‘singing dogs’.

“Come on Nanna!”

We slipped through the narrow opening, the ranger holding the gate apart for the photographer, Charlotte, and me. Click! Our escape route locked behind us. I took my granddaughter’s small hand.

The ranger held a long, leather staff in his right hand, a small, steel lidded bucket in the other.

“You’ll meet Maliki and Jinda today. They’re friendly, but you’ll just need to avoid sudden movements. Keep your hands by your sides, so as not to startle them.”

I tightened my grip on Charlotte’s hand, then consciously relaxed. A gentle wash of calmness flowed from the top of my head, down over, and within, my body.

Standing very still, her top teeth over her bottom lip, Charlotte’s face was expressionless, as the dingo cub Jinda, sniffed her clothes, licked her hand. With short thick hair, like a Pomeranian pup’s, orange-ginger over her forehead, the ears and in patches down her body, a creamy-white elsewhere, she was appealing, I had to admit.

“She likes you, wants to play with you.” The ranger took the lid from the bucket and enticed Jinda away with some offal.

“That was a fantastic shot.” We had been unaware we were being photographed.

A sharp rap of the staff on a boulder, behind where we had been asked to stand, and Maliki leapt effortlessly up, standing still, posing, now turning his head 180 degrees in each direction, then sniffing the top of this girl visitor’s head. I held my grandchild gently, protectively.

Once out of the enclosure Charlotte bubbled with excitement and chatter. Unbeknown to me she had harboured her wish to see these warrigals, up close, for a whole year. Last time Ian and I took her here we had shared a bench seat, eating our lunch, and watching expectantly for the dingoes to occasionally pass. Their greyhound like bodies partly crouched, large ears erect, they warily paced along the fence line. Charlotte had wanted to stay to see more of them. Ian, her grandad, had cajoled her away, saying next time we’ll get a better look.

Dec 112023
 

Dear Suzanne,

I have tried to figure out how to make an interesting story of this, but I have failed. You were kind enough to show interest, so I feel obliged to make an effort. But I just haven’t known what to do.

Sometimes stories can be built up in such a way that two or more narratives are intertwined. Garrison Keilor is good at that. I had observed that he had gone past the standard Alistair Cooke story uniting technique. Garrison will alternate between narratives and use the build up of tension in one of them as an effect when he switches to the other. It works for him.

So: I could interleave bits of my boring story with a story about some bloke in the woods who runs into a bear. I could probably draw out the bear story. Maybe the bear is just about to eat this bloke but then seems to decide not to. Or perhaps he has just decided to not eat the bloke…. just for now.

I used to know a woman named Jeanie. Jeanie was a self proclaimed professional writer. She has at least one published book under her belt, but not an output that would seem to adequately account for her whole career. She decided to enter a short story competition … said that the publicity of the prize would do her good. Next we heard was that she had submitted her story and was on tenter hooks waiting for the result. Then the judges report came out. Jeanie was not mentioned. She was sure that she had only just missed out. She showed me the judges report. The judge went on and on about how there had been quite a number (about 30, I think) entries that were so good that it was almost impossible to pick a winner. As I read the report, I could see that it seemed to be addressing an unsuccessful entrant. Although it didn’t promise the reader that she had only just missed out on the first prize, it was skilfully worded to give that impression to the enthusiastic over hopeful gullible entrant.

I was immune from the trick at the time, as I had not even been an entrant. I tried to point out to Jeanie that that report would be read by all the entrants, and that they couldn’t all have only just missed out being the winner, but she would have nothing of it. It was interesting to see how important it was to her that she find comfort in the illusion that she hadn’t REALLY failed to win the competition. There was just this little technicality.

I think this is about the point where the bear stops and sniffs the air. He seems to be trying to decide whether to amble off to the right where he will surely find the man hiding behind the rock, or go the other way, where he might disappear from the story for ever.

Anyway, that was a long time ago (The Jeanie business: not the bear’s sniff).

Much more recently, when I told you that I had submitted some short stories to the Alan Marshall Short Story Competition, you asked if I would let you know what came of that. Well, I got the judges report.

(The bear sniffs again. He can definitely smell something interesting.)

The report said that there had been about 30 entries that were so good that it was almost impossible to pick a winner. Although it didn’t promise me that I had only just missed out on the first prize, it was worded to give that impression to the enthusiastic over hopeful gullible reader.

This is obviously an established formula. The report that I got was not as well written as the one that Jeanie got all those years ago. This added to the irritation. Not only had I not won, but I was being judged by a person who couldn’t write as well as Jeanie’s judge!

The judge said that one of the entries almost reached a sort of Tim Winton standard of writing. I have not enjoyed the Tim Winton that I have read, and this person… this flibbertigibbet…. thinks that someone who did better than me is not quite up to Tim Winton standards! I didn’t need long to reflect to see how the formulaic judges report had manipulated my feelings in the matter. It was silly of me to allow myself to care so much even if for a fleeting moment. If the judge was good enough to be my judge, she could have at least been good enough to do a good judges report. Perhaps she could have entwined something more interesting in with it.

The bear ambled over to the rock. There was nothing behind it. The man had just vanished. The bear was hungry, and yet this story had nothing in it for him. He wandered off in search of another story to be in.

Richard.

Post Scriptum.
The bear didn’t have to walk far before he found a meal. A short story competition judge! He gobbled her up.

Dec 112023
 

For many years I, like thousands of other Melbourne residents, travelled past the imposing bluestone walls which encased the entire prison complex. At each corner that we could see, stood a rounded turret rising above the wall and within each turret stood or paced and an armed officer, his rifle slung over his shoulder and his gaze fixed inward. Just visible from the road above along the wall was a hint of rolls of barbed wire. On sunny days, the blue grey walls absorbed the sunlight casting shadows across the ground, on wintry days the walls added to the overall bleakness of the day, at night the walls were blackened, silhouetted by the strange orange light emanating from inside the compound.

When I was much younger, my father used to drive our family past Pentridge on the way to visit our extended family. He always told me, “That’s where they put bad people.” There was no elaboration – just a statement of uncontested fact – bad people were kept behind those walls.

Sometimes as we drove past the front entrance during day light hours, a few men in overalls would be out the front tending to the neatly manicured lawns and shrubs. A uniformed officer would be stationed nearby. These men would not acknowledge anyone, their heads down and focused on the garden beds and the paths. Everything was neat and tidy, and quiet.
The imposing perimeter walls, hewn bluestone mined from a nearby quarry (now a lake), masterfully assembled by convict labour in the 1850s, embrace the front entrance. Two castle like towers framing the turrets book end the yawning mouth of the famous (or is it infamous) Pentridge Front Gate. Sited in the southernmost tower was (and still is) the Pentridge clock tower with four clock faces, each confronting a key compass direction, each flaunting a different time!

As a youngster, I often wondered what went on behind those walls.

In autumn 1977, I was given my first opportunity to find out. The journey that day took me through the main entrance to witness the world inside the walls. I sensed I was stepping into a world which could best be described as a remote universe albeit sited only nine kilometres from the central business district of Melbourne. This was the start of my connection with Victoria’s prison system – a connection which lasts through to this very day.

On that first day I presented at the front gate as a teacher on placement to the Pentridge Education Centre, a special school registered with the Education Department of Victoria. After three years’ teaching in primary school settings, I undertook post graduate studies in special education, and this was one of the placements I experienced in that year.

As I approached the front gate, I walked past an older fellow standing alone, outside the gate, on the pavement next to Champ Street. Champ street, with its single row of bungalow houses facing the prison, served as the roadway connection between Murray Road and the hectic traffic flow on Sydney Road, Coburg. This man’s face was hidden in the shadow of a broad brimmed hat reminiscent of the 1950s, his body shape submerged under an ill-fitting heavy brown woollen suit with broad shoulder pads inserted. Under his left arm he was cradling a cardboard box to his hip. The box was secured with strands of string tied in place with a flowing bowed knot on top. He was just standing there – motionless, staring ahead, waiting.

Inside the front gate, I went through the routine that I was to become accustomed to for many years to come. My name was checked against a list of visitors; my ID was checked to assure I was that person named on the gate list; my bag and books checked to ensure I was not bringing any contraband into the prison. When the prison officers were satisfied that I was the person on the list, and that I would not contribute a security risk, a phone call was made to the prison’s education centre and an escort called for. The experience of this morning laid the foundation of the regular experiences of working in a prison – the experiences of being checked out at every post, the experience of being viewed as a potential security risk, and above all the experience of having to wait.

Everyone waits in a prison.

I was escorted through a labyrinth of alley ways and checking points known as posts all the way to the education centre before meeting the school principal, receiving a brief induction, and then being escorted again to another part of the prison where I was to be based for this four-week experience placement.

This escort took me back through the main gate explaining that we will turn to another entrance in the prison via a small gate embedded in the west facing wall.

Before exiting the front gate, the officer on the front door opened the peep hole to check it was safe to open the exit door when he mentioned over his shoulder to someone else behind me. “He’s still there. He cannot get across the road. He’ll be back here in no time.” “Typical” was the response from behind me. Sure enough, after almost two hours of my travelling, meeting with the principal and key staff, and waiting inside the prison, the man standing out front had not moved, still clutching his cardboard box to his hip.

This image is burned into my memory and, upon reflection, became the significant symbolic representation of travel between the parallel universes of prisons and community and prisons within community – me entering a prison in a professional capacity as a teacher for the first time and this man leaving the prison, ostensibly returning to the community after completion of his sentence.

Dec 112023
 
Eltham gardener grows freak vegetable. Tales of magic in the garden.
Rita Sidewell-West, Gardening Correspondent of the Eltham Echo, investigates.

For the second year in a row, Eltham gardener, Ruth Seidler, 72, has grown an unusual Italian heirloom zucchini variety called tromboncino. Its scientific name is Cucurbita moschata ‘Tromboncino’. One of its other names is serpentine squash (snake-like squash). This year something unusual occurred.

Ms Seidler trained the vines of her 3 plants to grow up a garden arch. Every day she went out to the veggie patch to check progress, twisting a new shoot or tendril around onto a support, watering and especially to see if there were flowers open. Like all plants in the cucurbit family (pumpkins, cucumbers and squash), tromboncinos have big yellow flowers that the bees love. Each plant grows male and female flowers. The male flowers grow on a straight stem but the female flowers grow at the end of a baby fruit shape instead.

Some days Gardener Ruth found 4 male flowers open, sometimes just one female flower and on good days one or more of each would be open. On these days, excited but calm, she used a feather or cotton bud to carefully collect some pollen from the male flower and wipe it on to the inside parts of the female flowers. “This is normally bees’ business,” she says, but she didn’t want to leave anything to chance. Often she found a bee busy inside a flower and waited until it had left with its load of pollen. Some days were dull and cool and there were not many bees around or they flew off after they had collected pollen. If the female flower received pollen at the right time a pale green tromboncino began to grow. If not, they turned yellow and withered on the vine. The healthy ones grew almost as long as Ruth’s arm, some straight, others curved.

One particular tromboncino grew vigorously, twisting like a snake, finding support on the arch.

“It was somehow different from the others,” Ruth says.

Everyday she patted its thickening curves. She even gave it a name, Tromby.

“One day as I touched Tromby, I sensed the slightest stirring or a kind of pulsing. He (or was it she?) seemed to move towards my hand as if it wanted more stroking. I thought I even heard a gentle sighing sound. Next day, two green shapes like eyelids appeared at one end. I couldn’t believe it! What was this? A vegetable with animal qualities? I remembered its other name: serpentine squash. Was this this a freak of nature? I didn’t know what to think or do.”

Tromby was getting big enough to harvest. Would it be cruel to cut Tromby off the vine? She waited one day, then another. Then one morning, Tromby seemed to be leaning more heavily on the support, Ruth heard a long sigh and there was no hint of movement in the long curved body.

“Tromby seemed to be giving me permission to cut him from the vine. I used my sharp knife as gently and quickly as I could. Tromby was surprisingly heavy in my hands. He seemed to snuggle into my body as I carried him inside.”

Tromby lay still and silent on the kitchen table for several days.

Gardener Ruth says later, “At first I kept sharp knives, peelers and graters away. It seemed insensitive to say the words ratatouille, zucchini slice or stuffed vegetables in the same space. However, after about a week I decided this very large vegetable, however mysterious, was getting in the way and it was time to use it in my cooking. Perhaps I’m heartless, but Tromby became just another healthy vegetable. I cut a piece off and put the rest in the fridge. I was still curious though.”

Ms Seidler began to search the internet. Had other gardeners had unusual experiences with their tromboncinos? There were some hints of tales of magical vegetables in an ancient language of Liguria in Italy but nothing else. Fairy tales perhaps.

She eventually contacted this reporter. We met by her veggie patch where one of the intriguing long cucurbits was still hanging among the yellowing leaves of the vine. By this time she had used the “magic” tromboncino in five different meals and there was no physical evidence to examine. As I listened to her story I couldn’t help noticing that we were standing very close to the Diamond Creek. I asked if she ever saw snakes in her garden. “Oh, yes,” was her reply. “In fact, I’m sorry to say, over the years, several tiger snakes have met nasty ends right here, when we have had the veggie patch netted for birds … Aaaah … Ah-ha.” She stopped. A sudden realisation seemed to come to her.

“Perhaps, just perhaps, the spirits of those snakes are still around. Perhaps one found its way into a familiar shape … Just for a short time …” Who will ever know?

I ask if she will grow tromboncino next summer. “I’ll have to think about that,” is her reply. “I might go back to common Blackjack zucchini again.”

What do readers think? Eltham Echo would like to hear other gardeners’ experiences, especially if you have grown unusual varieties.

Dec 092023
 

On 9th December, our Choir held another concert at St Vincent’s Aged Care, with the residents joining in with many of the numbers. The group received positive feedback and management are keen for them to return, stating that it made a big difference to the residents’ day. Afterwards, everyone enjoyed afternoon tea.

In the photo, from left to right: Ed Millar, Bill Naim, Anne Byrnes, Lindsay Byrnes (conductor), Catherine Lazer, Beverley Boardman, Aileen Jones, Wendy Hamer (accompanist) and Sue Bailey .

Dec 092023
 

Our guest speakers

Every fortnight during term time, we organise for someone to give a presentation to which any of our members can attend. Thanks to Cath Bauman and Pam Griffith for organising. Here are the talks over the past few years.

  • Alan Cuthbertson: Climate change and Extinction Rebellion.
  • Alan Flint: On being surrounded by money.
  • Brenda Fitzpatrick: Unlikely heroes in unlikely places.
  • Brian Devenish: Worldwide scamming.
  • Catherine Blakey: Tactics for hearing impaired people.
  • Cathy Guinness: On being a white woman in an Aboriginal world.
  • Chris Durham: Looking for answers.
  • Daryl Bolton: Welcome to the Shrine.
  • David Ronson: Forensic facts.
  • Dianne Parslow: Powerpoint.
  • Dianne Parslow: South America and Antarctica.
  • Fiona Malcolm: A recent Literature Festival Cruise.
  • Fiona Malcolm: Children’s books.
  • Fiona Malcolm: Desert island crime fiction.
  • Fiona Malcolm: Railway murders.
  • Fiona Malcolm: Rural noir – before and after The Dry.
  • Gaby Seymour: Maintaining bone health as you age.
  • Gavin Watson: Covid-19 pandemic hardship.
  • Geoff Paine: Geoff Paine.
  • Gillian Essex: Grandmothers for Refugees.
  • Graham Parslow: Vintage radio.
  • Greg Papworth: Still worried about Covid?
  • Guy Palmer: A history of modern art.
  • Guy Palmer: Generating one’s own energy.
  • Guy Palmer: Google maps.
  • Guy Palmer: Poverty.
  • Guy Palmer: Social exclusion.
  • Guy Palmer: Ten interesting animals.
  • Guy Palmer: The best painting of the last 150 years.
  • Guy Palmer: Why ants work together in colonies.
  • Heather Wearne: The Referendum on a First Nations Voice.
  • Helen Durham: The laws of war.
  • Jim Connor: Eltham’s muddy history.
  • Jim Connor: Eltham pioneers and families.
  • Jim Connor: History of Old Eltham Courthouse.
  • Jim Connor: History of the Maroondah Aqueduct.
  • Jim Connor: The Old Eltham Courthouse restoration.
  • June Rushton: Memories of a lighthouse keeper's daughter.
  • Kelvin & Beverly Spiller: People, personalities and preferences.
  • Liz Pidgeon: The history of your library service.
  • Louis Roller: Disease and medicines in Shakespeare’s plays.
  • Louis Roller: Hair.
  • Louis Roller: Human smiles.
  • Louis Roller: Music and well-being.
  • Louis Roller: My story.
  • Louis Roller: The placebo-nocebo conundrum
  • Louis Roller: What do your blood test results mean?
  • Louis Roller: You and your medicines.
  • Louise Heathcote: The Camino de Santiago.
  • Melinda Clarke: How the Melbourne Map was made.
  • Nick Szwed: Back to the USSR.
  • Philomena Holman: Montmorency Asylum Seekers Support Group.
  • Tammy Shepherd: Mercy Ships.
  • Terry Beaton: the Burma Railway.
  • Victorian Energy Compare.
  • Wayne Kinrade: Eltham copper butterfly.
  • Zara Thompson: Music therapy and ageing.
  • Dec 082023
     

    The words are from Abe Kelabora and the photos are from Brenda Hilson.

    On Friday, 8th December, the group played its last game for the year. It was hot, windy, and dry, but so what? Golfers are always there with their mates playing the game religiously, never mind the weather. Some 32 players participated, divided into 8 groups. Rather than Stroke as usual, the Ambrose scoring system was used to speed up the game. Under this system, each group was to submit only one scorecard at the end of the game. The winning group was able to score 35 out of a 9-hole game, which was a first on this golf course for the seniors. At the 19th hole, everyone sat with their mates, some with their partners, to share a lunch with beer and coffee, while sharing the stories of the year, including the best shots, the worse episodes, and those who are no longer in the team. In the meantime, the captain, Alan Clayton, dutifully gave out the prizes. As Brenda says “Thank you so much Alan Clayton for your efforts through the year. You are a patient man!

     
      

    Nov 292023
     

    On 29th November, Louise discussed her 2022 1,000 km walk from Pau in France to Santiago in Spain. She found it an interesting way to see Spain, meet different people, slow travel, immerse herself in the camino culture and community of non-judgement and gratitude, reflect on life and know herself better. She talked about what it means to be a pilgrim and to follow the pilgrim way.

    The presentation was a bit of a travel diary, interspersed with some stories about getting lost, the kindness of strangers and being curious and adventurous.

    Nov 192023
     

     As you may or may not be aware, Nillumbik U3A members play leading roles in many of the other local community organisations. One such is the Eltham & District Winemakers Guild which, amongst other things, organises an annual Eltham Wine Show. The 2023 wine show was held on Sunday, 19th November and the organisers included U3A members Angela Harridge, Dave Chambers, Mario Fantin and Wayne Harridge. Wayne features in the left hand photo below, with Angela and Dave in the right hand photo.

     Local events also often include U3A members among their participants. At the 2023 wine show, these included John O’Callaghan, Karen Coulston, Roma O’Callaghan, Ruth Leaming, Susan Palmer and Vincent Galante. John, Roma, Ruth and Vincent feature in the left hand photo below, with Karen in the right hand photo.

    Nov 152023
     

    Chris Durham shared how some of her experiences led to her searching for and finding answers.

    Left with a damaged brain and body and crushed spirit and hope after a car accident, she searched for ways to get going again, and ways to help people with brain injury. She realised that, as a young child having spent time going on ‘thinking walks’ with her dad, these walks played a significant role in getting going again. This led to her searching for ways to empower students to think for themselves, through workshops at Ivanhoe Girls’ Grammar School.

    The experience of moving to Thailand in the late 1970s forced her to search for answers as to why the family of six were hit for six with drugs planted on them, children kidnapped and death threats. Was it all her fault? Epiphanies, answers and resolution showed that it is possible to find what we are looking for.

    Nov 132023
     

    Our Walking Groups

    We have three walking groups: our original Walking Group led by Kay Bichard and others, our Gentle Walking Group led by Pam Griffith and others, and our Slow and Steady Walking Group led by Suzanne Teese and others.

    Nov 062023
     

    On 6th November, our Gentle Walking Group tried out the new Seniors outdoor exercise equipment located at Andrew Pocket Park, 60 Diamond Street, Eltham (on the corner of Youth Road, next to the tennis courts). They were shown each piece of equipment under the guidance of a trained volunteer. There is an instructional sign board nearby, as well as QR codes on each piece of equipment, providing users with on-the-spot instructions on how to use each one. Everyone enjoyed this experience and agreed that it was worthwhile.

    Read about the equipment on the Nillumbik Council website. There are regular ‘go and try’ sessions.

    Nov 032023
     

    On entering The Eltham Community and Reception Centre on the evening of 3rd November, the warm ambience felt reassuring and my initial apprehension in attending this event for the first time, soon disappeared.

    Moving into the main hall, ten large round tables covered in white cloth surrounded with chairs, bordered the spacious dance floor on two sides. The band were seated up on stage already performing their smooth brassy sounds as we walked to join others at our designated table. After nibbles were placed on the table and a drink was poured, it wasn’t long before I noticed all seats were filled and the evening was in full swing.

    The band performed a mix of well-known jazz pieces accompanied at various times by one of three vocalists, delighting both those seated and those on the dance floor. The upbeat numbers had some of us tapping our feet or lightly drumming our hands on the table while the many dancers glided or moved energetically around the dancefloor. The Cha-Cha, Fox Trot and a lovely slow Walz stood out to me as favourites and seemed to draw more onto the dance floor as the evening progressed. I also recall the requested I’ve got you under my skin brought many smiles, a cheer and some excellent miming from various attendees.

    A gentleman that approached the tea and coffee table expressed the feeling of the evening beautifully. “What a splendid evening!” It indeed felt splendid and, for the two friends that accompanied me, it also brought back some sweet memories.

    Here is a 1 minute video of some of the singing and dancing.

    Nov 012023
     

     On 1st November, Guy gave a presentation on how he has lessened his use of external energy, particularly fossil fuels. Guy first installed a battery-based solar system in 2013, the main aim being not to use any grid electricity for most of the year. In 2019, he bought an electric car, the main aim being to utilise his surplus generated energy. He talked about the battery, the electric car and how the whole thing works together to minimise his external energy footprint.

    View/download Guy’s presentation (pdf).

    Oct 172023
     

    The text below was written by John Baird, with the photo by Stuart Winstanley.

    The annual school concert of St Helena Secondary College was held on Tuesday evening, 17th October. St Helena Secondary College has an extensive music program and, on the evening, six different school bands performed (e.g. Show Band, Concert Band, Jazz Band, SuperSax Band), involving around 100 students.

    One novel feature of this year’s concert involved a series of presentations of Excellence Awards on behalf of our Jazz Appreciation Class. John Crichton, tutor of the class, described the development of Jazz By The Green, a joint initiative of the Jazz Appreciation Class and the Eltham Bowling Club. This initiative was the idea of the late Mal Harrop and continues to be organised by John. Over the last seven years, it has resulted in around 60 monthly live jazz events involving scores of different Victorian jazz bands, each playing to a usual audience of about 120 people.

    The Jazz Appreciation Class’s share of the profits from these Jazz By The Green events is used to promote and foster jazz education at government secondary schools in Nillumbik. The recent presentation at St Helena Secondary College is an example of this commitment.

    On the evening, John presented four awards. Each award (entitled The Harrop-Crichton Award) was for a student in each of the four senior school bands who had shown exceptional promise and expertise in improvised music. In addition, funds from the Jazz By The Green events were given to the school to purchase a new string bass – an instrument that the school did not possess, but that was highly desired as part of the music program. The evening was an example of how Nillumbik U3A can contribute to the local community.

    The Harrop-Crichton Awards will be made available in the future, depending on the continued success of the Jazz By The Green program.

    The annual concert evening was a great success, and the awards delighted the whole school and, particularly, the students who were their recipients.

    Oct 132023
     

    Our Luncheon Group comprises some 30 people who get together every 2nd Friday of the month to enjoy different dishes at different cafes and restaurants in the surrounding areas of Nillumbik. So far, the lunches have been mainly restricted to the typical Australian cuisines. But the pattern was broken on Friday, 13th October, when the decision was made to have a completely different menu, from an Asian restaurant. So, lunch was held at the Diamond Saigon (Vietnamese) restaurant at Diamond Creek. Some members started with the entrees of Vietnamese spring rolls, dim sims, or soups to warm up the appetite on a very cold day. The main courses included curry beef, scallops in ginger, garlic prawns, and chicken in lemongrass and chilli, and stir fried chicken and vegetables. Most people decided to share the different dishes on the table. The service was very efficient and the dishes arrived on time. The atmosphere was happy and relaxed. Even the restaurant owner, Ian, was very happy with the event. The final judgment: absolutely delicious!

    Oct 102023
     

    During the recent break, Karen Redrup, Judy Vizzari, Leanne Ipsen and Val Harrop hung a variety of new art works in our Office. The featured artists include Brenda Smith, Colleen Hall, Carlos Serrano, Chris Hatters, Doris Beerman, Dennis Smedley, Jenni Bull, Jo Ball, Joan Denison, Judy Vizzari and Leanne Ipsen. As discussed in the last Gibber Gabber, there are also numerous zentangles.

    Oct 032023
     

    A training event was held on 3rd October to upskill some of our tutors in group dynamics.

    Kelvin and Beverly Spiller (both Nillumbik U3A members) offered the tutors an opportunity to think about how their personality type affects the way they lead and interact with their groups. Kelvin used the MBTI (Myers-Briggs) framework to identify the different personality types and then various tips and communication techniques were discussed.

    It was a useful and informative session. Thanks Kelvin and Bev!

        

    Sep 132023
     

    On 13th September, we held our Footy morning tea. Christina Polatajko, forwards coach for the Carlton AFLW team spoke about her journey to becoming an AFLW coach team. U3A members of the Diamond Valley Big Band started off the morning by playing some of the AFL footy theme songs, with many of our members singing along.

    We held a raffle with proceeds of $186 being donated to the Eltham Senior Women’s Football Team, who were appreciative of our donation. We would like to thank the following local businesses for donating raffle prizes: Baker’s Delight – Eltham, Grill’d – Eltham, Harvest Fresh Fruit Market, Patty Smith’s Healthy Burgers, Pieross Italian Cake and Pizza and Shane McVeigh. A special thank you to Joan Dennison, our U3A ISO chook creator, who donated Some ISO footy chooks for the raffle.

    The morning would have not happened without the following people: Alison Pieper, Carmen Breust, Dennis Smith, Hector Hart, Jane Hammett, Judy Vizzari, Julie Smith, Karenne Lack, Laraine Hussey, Marianne Petersen, Sue Bailey, Sue Brenkovich and Wayne Meade.

      

    Sep 062023
     

    On 6th September, Philomena Holman gave a presentation on the Montmorency Asylum Seekers Support Group (MASSG). MASSG has been advocating for humane treatment of asylum seekers in Australia for the last 20 years. Their membership of around 200 people includes many Nillumbik residents. Philomena discussed: MASSG’s current campaigns and activities to support people still seeking official acceptance of their claims; their personal experiences of supporting individuals; and their experience of communicating with politicians, their successes & failures, with a few tips for others wanting to lobby.

    Aug 232023
     

    On 23rd August, Liz Pidgeon gave a presentation on the Yarra Plenty Regional Library, which provides public library service for the municipalities of Banyule, Nillumbik and Whittlesea. This presentation discussed the origins of the library service, where it has come from and its service today, with specific references to the Shire of Nillumbik.

    Aug 132023
     

    We have previously discussed how our Eltham Arts Groups were creating a stuffed, lengthy snake ‘bean bag’ for Eltham Bookshop. Well, it was successfully installed at the bookshop on 13th August and Judy Vizzari wrote an article for the local Copperline News about the experience. Unfortunately, Copperline News haven’t published Judy’s article so, belatedly, here is something of a summary of that day.

    The ‘bean bag’ is called the Story Serpent. On Sunday, 13th August, the serpent and his cushions were transported through Eltham, jubilantly held aloft by 30 of the artists and danced through the Eltham Farmer’s Market in a procession which wended its way to Meera’s Govil’s bookshop. The serpent is now coiled on the bookshop floor, surrounded by his pillows and his sister snake rests quietly above a bookshelf. They are welcoming friends for children when they visit to attend story times, or to enjoy some quiet reading. But the serpent is not just for children, it is a work of art and it is hoped that readers of all ages will enjoy it.

    Aug 092023
     

    On 9th August, Geoff Paine discussed various aspects of his working life.

    As well as being one of the Eltham Councillors, Geoff currently works at BehaviourWorks at Monash University, helping explain behavioural science. Geoff has spent much of his life as an actor. He began his career on the TV show Neighbours in 1986, and then worked as an actor for decades in the film, theatre, TV and radio industries. He has written for stage and TV, worked as an event producer and facilitator.

    Jul 272023
     

    On 27th July, our Eltham Arts Groups joined forces to paint the material for a Rainbow Serpent banner for Eltham Bookshop. Once dry, they will sew it and fill it with stuffing. After it is sewn, only small segments may be seen above the bookshelves but it was a great team building effort.

    On seeing the banner, Meera Govil from the bookshop responded “This is incredible Leanne and team … We must celebrate the awakening of the serpent … I will try and make that the opening day for the bookshop’s new space.

      

      

    Jul 222023
     

     On 22nd July, our newly formed Choir gave their first concert at St Vincent’s Aged Care. Wearing the U3A colours of blue and gold, the group’s performance was well received by about 35 residents. Watch this video.

    Thanks to our choir members Aileen Jones, Anne Byrnes, Bill Naim, Catherine Lazer (dance routine), Clare Dunlop, Grant Strachan, Lindsay Byrnes (conductor), Sue Bailey, Wendy Hames (accompanist) and Wendy Morris.

    The Choir will be performing at the same venue again on Saturday, 9th December. They would welcome any new members and there will be ample time to learn the tunes prior to Christmas so all that is required is a love of singing.

    Jul 182023
     

    Uncle Bob gave permission for his name and image to be used after he passed. Cara Britton painted the image and also contributed to the article.

    I would like to recognise the wonderful life of Uncle Bob Randall. Uncle Bob was a traditional keeper of Uluru, and a Tjilpia special teaching uncle.

    In term 2, our First Nations Discussion Group watched a film called Kanyini. This film, made in 2006 by Melanie Hogan and co-produced and narrated by Uncle Bob Randall, tells of Uncle Bob’s own journey as a child of The Stolen Generation. In the film, Uncle Bob generously shares his wisdom about First Nations views on ownership/custodianship of the land.

    Uncle Bob’s father was Bill Liddle, the Scottish owner of Angus Downs Station in NT. Bill was married to an Arrente woman but she was not Bob’s mother. Bob lived the traditional life with his Yankunytjatjara mother and other mob on the property, but was not part of the Liddle family. He talks about the joy of the bush life, where you not only have one mother and father, but all your Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents are your careers and guides. He describes the peace and joy of being at one with the land. Not owning it, because the “land owns us“, just being a caretaker of the land for the short time you are there. The land is described as being everything in it, earth, rocks, sky, waterways, trees, insects, animals and how the land goes on for ever. It was here before any of us and will be here after. He tells us that you are never lonely when you are on the land.

    However, at the age of 7, in keeping with the assimilation policies of the time, Bob was taken to an institution in Alice Springs for half caste children. He then lived in Government institutions until his 20s. He then set about discovering his mob – at that time no records were kept for Aboriginal people – and getting an education.

    During his lifetime, Uncle Bob worked as an educator in cultural awareness, preservation and responsibility to the environment, as a counsellor, and as an advocate for equal rights and land rights.

    He was also a musician, with a country music band. His song My Brown Skin Baby They Take Him Away became an anthem for the Stolen Generation. Try listening to this on YouTube without shedding a tear!

    Cara was so moved by the film we watched that she painted Uncle Bob’s portrait. Cara says: I found that through seeing Kanyini, and reading about Uncle Bob, his gentle wisdom, humility, and deep love of land settled into my heart. As he said “caring with unconditional love, with responsibility“. In my painting, I was inspired to show Uncle Bob as being of the land, part of, within, not separate from. He is the land. Uluru stands as a sentinel behind him. His gift to us is his message – love and care of the land, not ownership.

    Thank you Uncle Bob.

    Jul 162023
     

    Many members, volunteer workers and newcomers visit our Office at Eltham Central Pavilion and we’re happy to know that our members’ art and crafts on display there have been noted, enjoyed and, in some cases, sold.

    So it was with enthusiasm that Karen Redrup, Val Harrop and I took time during the recent term break to remove the existing exhibits and replace them with an eclectic range of landscapes, still life and abstract works. They aimed once again to enhance the rooms occupied by hour hard-working administrative volunteers and to enable visitors to admire and, perhaps to purchase, the artwork on display.

    So, if you’re visiting the Office, or even just passing by, have a look at the new art, and perhaps even consider purchasing one of the pieces.

    Thanks to all the artists who have contributed to the display (Jo Ball, Patricia Bulmer, Leanne Ipsen, Teresa Mancino, Joy Quinn, Karen Redrup, Robin Reed and Dennis Smedley).

    The picture right is by Karen Redrup and is called In Teri’s Garden.

    Jul 162023
     

    Waking in the morning
    many notions fill my head.
    Looking forward to another day
    I tumble out of bed.

    The bedroom wall needs painting,
    and I need to mend that chair.
    There’s a plethora of little jobs
    that need a bit of care.

    Starting with some breakfast
    I grab a likely book.
    But before long it is midday
    and my hopes are looking crook.

    Thinking tomorrow will be better
    as I wander back to bed,
    I’ll aim for something different,
    maybe bake a loaf of bread.

    The next day passes quickly
    without too much to show.
    I wish I had the power
    to make the hours slow.

    I awake again next morning
    but it turns out just the same
    and I feel it’s fairly obvious
    that I’m the one to blame.

    So no matter what you call it,
    and no matter what you say,
    It usually just turns out to be
    Another Groundhog Day.

    Jul 162023
     

    We had another two articles published in the latest edition of the Roundabout community newspaper, which is circulated around Hurstbridge, Kangaroo Ground, Panton Hill, Smiths Gully, St Andrews and Wattle Glen.

    Thanks to Val Sandeman for once again making this happen.

    Jul 112023
     

    On 11th July, around 20 tutors got together and discussed their experiences. The topics raised included health & safety, hearing difficulties, managing groups and wearing name tags. Plenty of advice was shared, especially the importance of wearing your name tags to help others remember names and also to ensure your emergency contact is readily available if needed.

    The session ended with a morning tea provided by Barbara, Carol, Carole, Dianne, Kate, Kathy, Sandra, Sophie and Trisha.

    Jun 232023
     

    Our latest trivia evening took place on 23rd June at Eltham Guide Hall. Sue Power reports in.

    Teams competed against each other in a friendly, fun filled evening of feasting, laughter and mental gymnastics. The evening comprises sets of 20 questions on such wide ranging topics as film quotes, history, music, literature, geography, sport and local knowledge. Bonus activities involved identifying flags and famous faces. Involvement in future trivia evenings is highly recommended. Thanks to everyone who participated. Thanks also to the organising team of Karen Jeffrey, Noel Butterfield, Simon and Sue Power.

      

      

      

    Jun 212023
     

    Leading Senior Constable Alison Keppel spoke on Crime Prevention and Safety in the Community. Sergeant Mark Spriggs spoke on Cyber Safety and Scams.

    Jun 102023
     

    I (Lisa) have really enjoyed the classes during Term 2 and would like to continue to run some more classes in Term 3. The Power Tools class was out of my comfort zone but I am proud of what we pulled off. I have really loved the Pot Painting class and those ladies have warmed my heart.

    Jun 072023
     

    The Shrine of Remembrance is Victoria’s pre-eminent memorial to the service and sacrifice of Australian servicemen and women in conflicts and peacekeeping. On 7th June, Daryl Bolton discussed the Shrine’s heritage from its conception to the present day and included stories of the brave men and women that served during the conflict that was the First World War.

    Jun 032023
     

    On Saturday, 3rd June, we had another sausage sizzle at Bunnings Eltham. Despite the rain, we made a profit of around $1,700(!).

    Thanks to our sizzlers Brian Jones, Colin Cook, Domenic Tatangelo, Frank Cummings, Jenny Fowler, Karen Coulston, Margaret Schoonveldt, Mike Bull, Pam Kerneys, Reg Roswell, Rob Glanvill, Robert Lamb, Sabi Buehler and Trisha Weller. And thanks to Martin Winfield for organising everything.

    Jun 022023
     

    Around 70 people attending our Biggest Morning Tea on 2nd June to enjoy a morning tea, a talk by David Kettle from the Cancer Council and a chance to socialise with other members. We raised a total of $1,500(!), comprising $800 from raffle ticket sales, $400 from online donations and $300 from a special raffle of ISO chook palings organised by Joan Denison. The raffle prize winners were Ankie Box, Denise Ferguson, Liz Byrne, Marg Schooneveldt and Sophie Skenderis.

    Thanks to our bakers: Alison Pieper, Carol Seymour, Julie Smith, Kathy Allan, Laraine Hussey, Liz Richardson, Sophie Skenderis, Sue Bailey, Sue Brenkovich and Val Harrop. Thanks to those that helped out on the day: Carol Seymour, Dennis Smith, Hector Hart, Helen Clark, Julie Smith, Karenne Lack, Laraine Hussey, Marianne Petersen and Ruth Goddard. Thanks to the sponsors of our raffle: ACMI, Eltham Bookshop, Jonar in Diamond Creek, Kuzina in Eltham and Victorian Artist supplies in Eltham. And thanks to Carole Meade for organising everything.

    May 242023
     

    On 24th May, Helen Durham gave a captivating and informative presentation on International Humanitarian Law and its impact on armed conflict. She unpacked the key elements of the laws of war (as found in the Geneva Conventions and other treaties) as well as focusing on the prosecution of sexual violence in war as a crime. She also touched on issues relating to the regulation of weapons, in particular the recent treaties on nuclear weapons.

    May 102023
     

    On 10th May, Guy Palmer gave a talk about getting the most out of Google Maps and, in so doing, illustrated some of the sorts of things that you can now do with your phone. Particular aspects that he covered included: controlling your phone by voice; controlling your car’s audiovisual system; searching for types of thing (e.g. nearby cafes that are open now); interacting with businesses (e.g. ringing them); creating multi-stop routes; saving routes; sharing your location with others; using maps whilst offline; creating your own maps; your history and timeline; and streetview.

    May 082023
     

    Our Mahjong Groups

    Our morning Mahjong Group meets each Tuesday morning at Eltham Central Pavilion under the leadership of Maree Papworth.

    Our afternoon Mahjong Group meets each Tuesday afternoon at Eltham Central Pavilion under the leadership of Lyn Frazer.

    May 022023
     

    On 2nd May, our Afternoon Mahjong Group held a longer than usual afternoon tea to celebrate Margaret’s 99 birthday. Margaret regularly played with us before Covid, but has found playing too taxing after the extended breaks due to Covid regulations. She is such an inspiration as she still lives in her own home and is often seen walking around Eltham. Everyone had a great time catching up.

    May 012023
     

    We are currently aiming to have an article about Nillumbik U3A in every edition of the Round-about community newspaper, which is circulated around Hurstbridge, Kangaroo Ground, Panton Hill, Smiths Gully and St Andrews. Well, in the last edition (April-May), we had two such articles! Click the images below to read. Thanks to Val Sandeman for organising.

    Apr 302023
     

    Nillumbik U3A was one of three local community groups featured by Grill’d Eltham in the month of April. Well, thanks to you and your families, we were given the most votes and therefore received the $300 prize. Yay!

    Apr 262023
     

    Our AGM took place on Wednesday, 26th April to a full house of around 100 of our members.

    Here are the main documents from the AGM:

    Congratulations to the 2023/24 committee of Brian Jones, Carole Meade, Cath Bauman (Secretary), Dave Chambers, Dennis Smith, Dianne Parslow (President), Julie Smith, Karen Redrup (Vice President), Margaret Schooneveldt (Treasurer), Milena Gojanovic, Pam Griffith and Rob Glanvill (Vice President).

    Congratulations to our two new Life Members, Eve Scopes and Bill Naim.

    Thanks to everyone who helped out at the event, including Dave Chambers, Greg Scott, Hector Hart, Jane Hammett, Jenni Bull, Karenne Lack, Leanne Ipsen, Michael Bull and Pam Griffith. And, as always, a special thanks to Cath Bauman for organising everything.

    There was a lively, if sometimes a bit confusing, discussion about geographic issues. This is an important subject so I (Guy) have decided to summarise it here.

    1. 45% of our members live in Eltham/Research and only 15% of our members live in the rest of Nillumbik (with 40% living outside of Nillumbik).
    2. This dominance of Eltham/Research is much greater than the respective populations would imply – whilst around 5% of the total population aged 60+ in Eltham are members of our U3A, the corresponding proportion for the rest of Nillumbik is only 2%.
    3. Whilst the number of our classes in Eltham has been increasing, the number of our classes in Hurstbridge has been falling.
    4. Our three main, stable and least expensive venues are all in Eltham.
    5. Many of our tutors and committee members live south or west of Nillumbik.
    6. The net result of all the above is that we are becoming ever more Eltham centric.
    7. An important strategic issue is how much we should be proactively working to reverse, or at least halt, this trend by revitalising our activities outside of Eltham.
    8. In an informal poll, just about everyone at the meeting agreed that the Committee should proactively work to substantially increase our classes in Nillumbik outside of Eltham.

    Finally, here are a few photos from the event.

      

      

      

    Apr 252023
     

    On Anzac Day (25th April), our U3A Golf group had a ‘farm experience’ thanks to the hospitality of members Lindsay and Glenda. Situated in Arthurs Creek in a scenic setting, everyone involved thoroughly enjoyed themselves, with a shared BBQ and each other’s company. A ‘hay ride’ finished the day well. U3A is definitely a social forum and not just participation in regular classes. A big thank you to our hosts for inviting us to their picturesque property.

    Apr 252023
     

    Early in the morning on 25th April, Joy Barham again laid a wreath on our behalf. The photo on the left is oiur wreath, the middle photo is of Joy laying the wreath, and the right hand photo is of the crowd.

        

    Apr 162023
     

    Our Golf Groups

    Our main Golf For Fun Group plays on Tuesday and Friday mornings at Yarrambat Golf Club. The leader of the group is Alan Clayton.

    In addition, in some terms, we have golf workshops for beginners led by Abe Kelabora.

    Apr 162023
     

    Zentangles and Mandala Design

    Zentangles and mandalas are both forms of art doodling, with mandalas being more structured/mathematical/geometrical than zentangles.

    The Zentangles and Mandala Design class meets on Tuesday afternoons.

    Says Lyn Colenso, erstwhile tutor of the group: “Some people feel inadequate when it comes to art and shy away from it completely. The wonderful thing with zentangles and mandalas is that they are fabulous forms of doodling that anyone can learn how to do. Nothing is a mistake. Anyone can pick up the techniques easily and, in so doing, often get hooked in the process. It is so relaxing and therapeutic too.

    Apr 132023
     

    Unbeknownst to anyone else, our Zentanglers spent some of Term 1 painting pots. We hope that it may give our new Painting Pots Class some inspiration and we wish them well. The first photo below highlights some of the pots, whilst the second photo highlights the painters of these pots. From left to right: Tanys Boschma, Roma O’Callaghan, Jenni Bull, Jane Hammett, Kate Potter, Tony Gleeson and Sue Power.

    Apr 092023
     

    On a rainy, Easter Sunday on 9th April, we had a sausage sizzle at Eltham Bunnings. Thanks to Andrea Gregson, Brian Jones, Diane Fitzmaurice, Jane Hammett, Jean Kelabora, June Downs, Michael Bull, Michelle Rowsell, Rob Glanvill, Ros Camera, Rosemarie Jaeger, Sue Bailey and Sue Sharp for being part of the team. And thanks to Martin Winfield and Reg Rowsell for organising everything.

    Apr 052023
     

    During Term 1 2023, we have been reading, and trying to make sense of, some of Shakespeare’s sonnets. To assist us in this endeavour, we were fortunate to have the erudite and knowledgeable Steve Gilbert provide them with an indepth look at these sonnets on 5th April. Steve is a member of our Shakespeare Group. Comprehensive notes were provided and, as Steve suggested, they looked at them ‘as a biographical story’. Our understanding was further enhanced by some YouTube presentations, both serious and comic, including a reading by Alan Rickman, a couple of ‘take off’ skits by Upstart Crow from the BBC and even a ballet clip. In addition, they watched a reading using the correct English pronunciation current when these plays were written and, as a result, the sonnets now appear far more accessible.

    Thanks to Steve for his presentation and to Huguette De Rycke for the photo.

    Mar 292023
     

    On 20th March, our Walking Group walked around the area of Stuchbery Farm, starting from the end of Latrobe Road in Yarrambat.

    Mar 222023
     

    On 22nd March, we held our latest morning tea for new members. There was a presentation, followed by questions & answers, followed by refreshments & chatting.

    Thanks to everyone who baked or otherwise helped out, namely Anne Rohrer, Barbara Knell, Carol Seymour, Carole Meade, Dianne Parslow, Helen Clark, Robyn Goodrich, Rosemarie Jaeger, Sandra Barnes, Sandra Walls, Sue Brenkovich, Trisha Wells and Yvonne Torrico.

    Mar 182023
     

    The group is currently enjoying singing a wide range of easy to sing popular songs that have mostly been suggested by members of the choir. These include such rollicking tunes as the Wild Rover, The Wellerman, The Rainbow Connection, Any Dream will Do plus evergreens Oh What a Beautiful Morning and Sweet Caroline. The choir warms up to a fun rendition of My Friend the Witchdoctor, and even have a theme song with words adapted from Blow’in in the Wind, whose chorus ends with “the answer is, my friend, to join a U3A – the Nillumbik U3A”.

    Mar 172023
     

    One of the members of the group, Eileen Goodall, is Irish, so the group decided to have a bit of fun on St Patricks Day (17th March) and celebrate with her. As you can see, everyone wore green and had some green coloured goodies to eat.

    Mar 162023
     

    On Thursdays, our bike riders head off from Eltham Library taking to the main Yarra Trail either north or south. On 16th March, 12 riders in 2 groups headed to Beasley’s Nursery, where they stopped for a cuppa before heading back. This photo is of the first group stopping near Petty’s Orchard where the Mullum Mullum Creek meets the Yarra River.

    Mar 152023
     

    Fiona Malcolm, who is a librarian at the Athenaeum Library, gave a presentation on a week that she spent on board the Queen Mary 2 ocean liner travelling from New York to Southampton. Also on board: 1 Literature Festival at sea; 28 authors (including Ian Rankin, Lionel Shriver, Mick Herron, Prue Leith, Alexander McCall Smith); 6 journalists; 1,000 fellow passengers; and no way to get off the liner during the transatlantic crossing.

    Mar 152023
     

    This was the 5th time that this course has been run. As always, it concluded with a real game of golf on 15th March, where the participants were mentored by two members of our Golf for Fun Group, namely Ian Millman and Mike Bull. The play at Yarrambat Park Golf Course started at 12.30pm and took nearly three hours to complete. At the Hole No. 19, at the Club House, everyone was happy and relaxed. Since then, some of them have joined the Golf for Fun Group in order to play the game more regularly.

    Mar 142023
     

     On 5th March, we had a stall at the Eltham Rotary Festival. There was lots of interest from the public in our activities. Thanks to Dace Fitton, Diane Fitzmaurice, Jenni Bull, Judy Lynch, Kathy Allan, Rosemary Francis, Sophie Skenderis, Sue Bailey, Trish Weller and Violeta Georgievska for staffing the stall. Thanks to Les Smith and Mark Connell for putting up and taking down the marquee. And thanks to Cath Bauman for organising everything.

    Mar 132023
     

    Our Painting and Drawing groups

    We have a number of art groups who meet in different suburbs on different days. They create their art work in a variety of media using a diverse mix of skills. Our tutors include Leanne Ipsen, Brenda Smith and Valerie Osborne.

    Here are some of their videos.

    The group in action (15 minutes). The group in action (3 minutes).
    The Story Serpent at Eltham Bookshop. Leanne Ipsen demonstrates her equipment for acrylic painting.
    Leanne demonstrates her outdoor painting technique. Brenda Smith introduces watercolour painting.
    Jo Ball demonstrates ‘flow painting’. Colleen Hall discusses oil painting.
    Mar 062023
     

     It was a sunny autumn morning on 6th March when the Gentle Walking Group discovered a lovely new walk at Pound Bend, Warrandyte. After some rains overnight, everything was fresh and the river was gently bubbling along, accompanied by a few rosellas.

    Pound Bend was a central living and gathering place for the Wurundjeri people and is now a sacred site. There are interpretive signs along the river path with information about the Wurundjeri people.

    The area also has an interesting tunnel created in 1870 to divert the course of the Yarra while gold mining was carried out. The project only lasted a year as the expenses were too high and the returns therefore poor.

    Mar 052023
     

    In early March, Rachel Brak, class member and guide at Heide Museum of Modern Art gave the class a guided tour of Barbara Hepworth’s internationally acclaimed sculpture.

    The class are now doing charcoal sketches of life models. In the photo right, they all aimed to wear stripes themselves and sketched their model in striped clothing. Next week, no clothes!

    Mar 012023
     

    On 1st March, Alan Flint talked about his 39 year banking career, initially with the Commonwealth Bank, then with the Reserve Bank of Australia in Melbourne where, inter alia, he supervised the destruction of soiled, mutilated, misprinted notes and postage stamps.

    After retiring, he took up a position at a rare coin and banknote company.

    Feb 152023
     

    On 15th February, Dianne shared the highlights and photos of her recent trip to South America and Antarctica. Dianne and her husband travelled to Quito and Galapagos Islands (Ecuador), Lima (Peru), Buenos Aires (Argentina), Falkland Islands, South Georgia, Antarctica and Patagonia (southern Chile). Dianne’s main interest is the wide variety of animals and birds seen on the trip.

    Feb 142023
     

    We have renewed the art and craft displays at our Pavilion and Courthouse venues. Most of the exhibits are the work of our Applying Artwork artists but there is also work from our Acquiring Artwork group, our Hurstbridge Art group and Brian Devenish’s 2022 art class plus a Craft group exhibit. Thanks to Leanne Ipsen, Brenda Smith, Judy Vizzari, Karen Redrup and Val Harrop for making this happen.

    Leanne has also curated a display of our artworks at the Eltham Leisure Centre. Why not take the time to visit their café then walk through their extensive facilities whilst checking out the paintings?

    Dec 192022
     

    On 19th December, our Walking Group had their final walk for the year. 45 walkers followed a bush track along the Plenty river and returned via the back of the Yarrambat Golf course. They lunched at the golf course afterwards.

    Dec 172022
     

    On 5th December, 36 class members and partners celebrated the end of Term 4, with a guest speaker, followed by dinner.

    The guest speaker, Dr. Jo Stevenson, leader of Stevenson’s Rockets jazz band, spoke about the intricacies of mixing duties of a professional jazz musician with those of a busy suburban General Practitioner. He also reminisced on his experiences as a member of several well-known jazz bands over many years. A brief clarinet recital capped off his highly appreciated presentation. The photo right is of Dr. Stevenson with ‘the beast’ – a rare 1923 CONN bass saxophone.

    Dec 162022
     

    On 16th December, our Golf Group had their final game for the year. 32 players started at 9.30 am and completed just after midday. Afterwards, the players plus some of their partners met at Plenty Views Restaurant in Plenty for lunch. The group’s leader, Alan Clayton, presented prizes for the winners of the various sections of the game: the Longest Drives, Nearest to the Pins, the Team which won the game for the day, etc. As well as Alan, part of the credit for a very successful year of golf should go to our Handicapper, Mike Payne.

       

    Dec 112022
     

    On Sunday, 11th December, we partnered with both Allwood House and Hurstbridge Men’s Shed to create an afternoon of fun at Allwood House in Hurstbridge.

    Our activities included:

    • Our information marquee (see left hand photo below).
    • Some live painting en plein air (aka in the open air) to entertain the adults.
    • The Pie Face game to entertain the children (see right hand photo below).

      

    The Pie Face game was a major success with the children but it needed someone to break the ice. Cue Leanne Ipsen. Watch a video of Leanne playing the Pie Face game.

    Thanks to everyone who volunteered to help with the event. This includes Anne Rohrer, Barbara Knell, Heather Cobham, Jeff Norfolk, Jenn Palmer, Judy Vizzari, Karen Redrup, Kay Bichard, Mark Connell, Pam Kemeys, Teresa Mancino and Violeta Gorgievska.

    Dec 092022
     

    On 9th December, our Luncheon Group held their final lunch for the year at Nillumbik Estate in Smiths Gully.

    Dec 062022
     

    On 6th December, we held our Christmas break up dinner at Eltham Central Pavilion. Here is Carole Meade’s report on the event:

    “The evening started with nibbles and drinks at 5.30pm. With the weather being kind, we were able mingle on the verandah while our own G&T (Gillian and Tony) entertained us.

    “The main meal was provided by Spitting Image who, from all the feedback, did an amazing job – a variety of good quality food and plenty of it plus professional and helpful staff.

    “The door prizes and small gifts, which were kindly donated by Shane McVeigh, were well received. Hopefully we will see those knife sets at many future U3A get-togethers.

    “Our raffle netted us around $500. Thanks to all the members who bought tickets.

    “Out of Nowhere (Janet and Frank) provided the entertainment after the main meal.

    “Guy gave a little speech thanking our tutors and others.

    “We finished the night with a large array of desserts and tea or coffee.

    “I would like to thank Jenny (Rushton) and Paul (Sparks) from the Eltham Cricket Club who did a fantastic job staffing the bar. As the Secretary and Treasurer of the club, they voluntarily give of their time to raise funds to support the club and the young cricketers in Eltham.

    “We were fortunate to have musical 2 duos perform for us, both performing at no cost to U3A. How lucky were we? Both were entertaining and added that extra pizzazz to the evening. A big thank you to both duos!

    “I would like to thank Serone Thomas who made the gorgeous cupcakes and the following people who donated to our raffle; allawah Beauty Therapy, Diamond Creek Hotel, Greensborough Hotel, Shane McVeigh, Hoyts Movies Greensborough, the U3A Art groups and Carole & Wayne Meade.

    “Finally, thanks to everyone who volunteered to help with the event, either on the night or beforehand. This includes Anne Staples, Brian Jones, Carol Seymour, Cath Bauman, Gary Seymour, Gillian Essex, Hector Hart, James Redup, Jane Hammett, Janet Vague, Judy Vizzari, Laraine Hussey, Leanne Ipsen, Marianne Petersen, Patricia Butcher, Robert Lamb, Ruth Goddard, Sue Bailey and Sue Brenkovich, Wayne Meade and Wendy Smith.

    “I hope everyone had a great night and we can now set our sights on the 2023 Christmas break up.”

    In addition, I (Guy) would like to thank the organising committee for all their hard work, namely Rob Glanvill, Suzanne McNally and, of course, Carole Meade.

    Here are a few photos from the event.
       
    There were 15 tables of 8 people each. Here are photos of each of the tables.